how do like being dejected?
how do you like feeling rejected?
Rejected by someone who you really like.Rejected by someone who'd you think about every hour, every minute,every second.
Rejected by someone you say you live for, someone you'd think when you eat, sleep and someone who often appear in your dreams.Well maybe your nightmares too.Hee

Have you been in love before? Well, it's not just by saying those words. It's more like living those words. Making them come to life. Have you?
Well, i have. I used to love this particular individual before. I still do even to this day. Even when i'm having a relationship with someone. She was the first i cried for. Well, i never shed any after that. i just thought it was useless. It's it makes you feel better but like the people always say ' what's the point of crying for someone who wouldn't cry for'
well she did cry a few times when i wanted to leave her(i never had had thought of leaving her.it was more like a threat) for what she had done .
everytime she did, i gave in. I comforted her. At the end of the day, i had to comfort her. I apologized for the stuffs i never did.
Was it worth it? Well, as a matter of fact, many, i'd say majority would say it's worthless. They'd say i wasted my time when i was with her.
Well for me, it was all worthwhile.
You know, when you see the person you live for, the person you'd die for, everything in the world feels so calm. It slows down. It's as if no one else existed, it was just the two of you.
The greatest feeling in the world.

Well that changed after awhile, she started seeing her ex again. Well of course i got agitated yet i kept quiet and that's when i started bad. Bad as not bad-ass but i was seeing other girls. That's how it all started.
And then she left me. I couldn't do anything.I just started to cry like a wuss. Okay more like a pussy ehh. Yeah like any other idiot who's really broken-hearted, i did that for a few weeks.My morale was so low.

Then it stopped. I tried to get a rebound. I was bad-ass like never before. Everytime i went out with a girl, i'd break her heart. Well that was always my mission. Because of one individual,just one, i became different. I did what she did to me, not to her though instead to the rest.
i didn't know i was so cruel.Selfish.There's this thing about being a man. Their ego is..well..
The greatest male-ego booster is the moment when women fall at their feet,wanting and needing them(men) more than anything else in the world.
Well i achieved that.

Anyways out of all the misery i caused to the rest, at the end of the day i just think about her.I have always done that. and now it goes all back to the same thing,every hour, every minute, every second.

Well at one point of time, i just decided to stop. Really i stopped. i just felt different. i really don't know why. I just thrash away the life i had. Girls, booze, cash,parties,sex.Whatever you name it, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

And at the end of the day, is it worth it?i really don't have the answer ehhh.

Well what i want is to get back with the one i live my life for.
I did try. But i guess it was impossible. Well life's like a box of chocolates eh. and things happens for a reason.
i guess you take it slow and take it one thing at a time.

you and i. we're done. i'm letting you go.

Well, it has been ages since i last blog. Well... as a matter of fact, i couldn't find the right time.
Okay, truthfully i was caught up with army shit. The routine duties and all. Well, it takes a huge toll on me. So no phone, no internet, no entertainment for two solid weeks. Could you imagine that?
Living without technology. In fact, the first few days was unbearable. Okay more about the duty shit.

Well it's a routine actually for boys who serves the army to do this kind of duty.Well mine was at Jurong Island.
Had to guard the island you know from suicide bombers, terrorists and the list go on..It's really shitty though, ya' know.
Well i couldn't help it though. As the saying goes" A man gotta do what a man gotta do"
i swear it was the most boring two weeks of my life. Guarding the sea and the chemical plants.
Well so much about that , let's talk about my life. It should be a bore.

I'm having this financial problem. Specifically, it's not really a problem well maybe because i'm just fickled. Or rather i just can't set my priorities right. I gotta save up for KOREA (damn i miss Gracie), then the license and the getting bike part( i wanna get a KTM) and the shitloads of handphone bills that i've yet to pay.Plus, there's also the clothes that i wanna get. I mean i don't wanna wear the same clothings day in day out.
Urghh..talking about that contracts my stomach so very badly.
So i need to get a part-time weekend job. maybe being a escort would help greatly but i'm not up for it. Well it's not really me but ya' know the people around me who would actually get affected if i had that status. I just need to get it all right and just stay focused and stop spending and save up more.

i guess that's it. It's easy to converse ya' know but when its comes to transforming words into actions, well that's the real deal which is really uber difficult.
Anyways i just re-watched 'Across the Universe'. it was really AWESOMO-EXTREMO.

now i'm stucked to this song.


Love, love, love.
Love, love, love.
Love, love, love.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It's easy.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

All you need is love (all together, now!)
All you need is love. (everybody!)
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need (love is all you need).

Yee-hai!
Oh yeah!
She loves you, yeah yeah yeah.
She loves you, yeah yeah yeah.