why is it just so tough to say goodbye?

i've been hung up with alot of army crap and it is taking a huge toll on me. i so miss a few people and i cant wait to meet them


Golden chain

Friendship is a Golden Chain,
The links are friends so dear,
And like a rare and precious jewel
It's treasured more each year...

It's clasped together firmly
With a love that's deep and true,
And it's rich with happy memories
and fond recollections, too...

Time can't destroy its beauty
For, as long as memory lives,
Years can't erase the pleasure
That the joy of friendship gives...

For friendship is a priceless gift
That can't be bought or sold,
But to have an understanding friend
Is worth far more than gold...

And the Golden Chain of Friendship
Is a strong and blessed tie
Binding kindred hearts together
As the years go passing by.

questions like ' why don't things go my way?' , ' how long more should i wait?' , ' why are these things happening to me constantly?', ' how much more do i have to go through this?'. these questions keeps playing on my mind. Remember the days when we still own those VCR players, you know you can play, forward and rewind it and not knowing when to press the stop button. But only this time imagine the VCR stucked onto your head. Well me being an optimists, looks at the bright side of life. Well, i don't know how long i cant be this way. Well i'll just wait and see what happens next. Good day

Seen the hand of morning
lift the veil of night.
Seen the eyes of evening
fading slowly out of sight.
Seen shooting stars inflame the midnight blue
but there's nothing in the heavens
quite as beautiful as you.

There's nothing quite as beautiful as you
nothing like your face, like the warmth of your embrace.
A kind and gentle soul whose love runs deep and true
there's nothing quite as beautiful...
as beautiful as you.

Seen the hand of nature
paint the landscape green.
Seen the breath of winter
coat the rivers and the streams.
Seen life beneath a sea of china blue
but there's nothing on this planet
quite as beautiful as you.

There's nothing quite as beautiful as you
nothing like your face, like the warmth of your embrace.
A kind and gentle soul whose love runs deep and true
there's nothing quite as beautiful...
as beautiful as you.

Your being fills my senses
makes my spirit start to climb.
You're a wonder of creation
so rare and so divine

There's nothing quite as beautiful as you.

the random-est post ever

it's weird. everyday we come upon new sites. new sites made specially to gather friends. whatever the retrospective is, even i don't wanna know.

there's this few thousand sites that offers the same old thing. To make friends, to make NEW friends, to meet new people. Yeah that's the old conservative way.

sites such as multiply, tagged itself, myspace and friendster to name a few have emerged.

it's not that i hold anything against the creators of this things. yeah i mean, probably they are god damn filthy rich due to this contribution. but don't people see the irony in all of it.

people i'd like to reiterate the word people. people as in referring to low lifes son of a bitches who used this sites, yeah, to get to know new people but at the same time this is also their favorite hangout spot. A place where they use to get famous( that's okay i guess) by uploading all their hot perrogative photos.

it's really regretful that their intentions does not stop there. from there they go on to greater things. girls in particular are growing to be more careless. they are more naive and in that sense getting very gullible

i mean i say this: who doesn't like to be complimented, but too much compliments, it's just weird. seriously i dont know what's happening.

seriously i think that site such as tagged and friendster, it's just bad influence and i think its just so over rated.

but to balance that equation. to neutralize the whole formulae, there's this website called FACEBOOK. there's where real friends get together. it for smarter people too ya' know. i'm not being biased but it's just really good. so boys and girls. just stay here and yeah remain as low lifes and try not getting inot facebook because that's a place for smarter people. which in that fact i think you people are stupid and really i think you boys and girls will remain as schmucks forever.

COME BABY HATE ME

what the next thing you should do, the next thing you should think about or what about the next step you should do?

i've been running these few questions again and again in my mind. Contemplating on what to and all.

it can really be a irritating like having a thorn in the butt..
ughhh..sometimes it creeps me out just thinking about the future.

Well, my service is due in December so that means i'll be out then. then what next?
well the plan is i'm gonna travel first. Korea to see gracie.then maybe start some part time job. then what next? its either Poly, ITE or trying out for the steward job.

well hopefully, by that time i'll get to decide.

how do like being dejected?
how do you like feeling rejected?
Rejected by someone who you really like.Rejected by someone who'd you think about every hour, every minute,every second.
Rejected by someone you say you live for, someone you'd think when you eat, sleep and someone who often appear in your dreams.Well maybe your nightmares too.Hee

Have you been in love before? Well, it's not just by saying those words. It's more like living those words. Making them come to life. Have you?
Well, i have. I used to love this particular individual before. I still do even to this day. Even when i'm having a relationship with someone. She was the first i cried for. Well, i never shed any after that. i just thought it was useless. It's it makes you feel better but like the people always say ' what's the point of crying for someone who wouldn't cry for'
well she did cry a few times when i wanted to leave her(i never had had thought of leaving her.it was more like a threat) for what she had done .
everytime she did, i gave in. I comforted her. At the end of the day, i had to comfort her. I apologized for the stuffs i never did.
Was it worth it? Well, as a matter of fact, many, i'd say majority would say it's worthless. They'd say i wasted my time when i was with her.
Well for me, it was all worthwhile.
You know, when you see the person you live for, the person you'd die for, everything in the world feels so calm. It slows down. It's as if no one else existed, it was just the two of you.
The greatest feeling in the world.

Well that changed after awhile, she started seeing her ex again. Well of course i got agitated yet i kept quiet and that's when i started bad. Bad as not bad-ass but i was seeing other girls. That's how it all started.
And then she left me. I couldn't do anything.I just started to cry like a wuss. Okay more like a pussy ehh. Yeah like any other idiot who's really broken-hearted, i did that for a few weeks.My morale was so low.

Then it stopped. I tried to get a rebound. I was bad-ass like never before. Everytime i went out with a girl, i'd break her heart. Well that was always my mission. Because of one individual,just one, i became different. I did what she did to me, not to her though instead to the rest.
i didn't know i was so cruel.Selfish.There's this thing about being a man. Their ego is..well..
The greatest male-ego booster is the moment when women fall at their feet,wanting and needing them(men) more than anything else in the world.
Well i achieved that.

Anyways out of all the misery i caused to the rest, at the end of the day i just think about her.I have always done that. and now it goes all back to the same thing,every hour, every minute, every second.

Well at one point of time, i just decided to stop. Really i stopped. i just felt different. i really don't know why. I just thrash away the life i had. Girls, booze, cash,parties,sex.Whatever you name it, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

And at the end of the day, is it worth it?i really don't have the answer ehhh.

Well what i want is to get back with the one i live my life for.
I did try. But i guess it was impossible. Well life's like a box of chocolates eh. and things happens for a reason.
i guess you take it slow and take it one thing at a time.